Category Archive: family

Christmas 2013

Sirena’s second Christmas was a total blast–it was so amazing to see how much she had grown from last Christmas (see photos at this link) and how much she started really understanding what was going on!  The funniest thing was that every time she saw a picture, a toy, a lawn ornament, whatever of Santa she’d call him, “Ho, ho, ho.”  🙂

However, she was not the Jolly Man’s biggest fan in the slightest. Case in point…photos from out front of my mom’s house where a Santa on holiday was hanging out for the month…

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Trimming the tree with Aunt TT…

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We decorated reindeer sugar cookies before getting started on the ornaments.

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Just like Mama, she couldn’t resist!

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I’ll give you two guesses to choose which ones Sirena made…

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Admiring her work

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Making silly faces in the ornaments with Mama

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Showing TT some ornaments

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Hanging out with Dee too!

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Breakfast with Santa at Rancho Los Alamitos…

The weather turned downright nasty the morning the Breakfast with Santa event at Rancho Los Alamitos was scheduled but we didn’t let it get us down and made a fun (albeit muddy) morning out of it.

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You know you’re at a rancho when they decorate with farm animals, lol!

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Sirena’s not looking too impressed…

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But what did impress her?…

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A horse, of course.

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Isela, baby Luna, and Christian trying to keep dry

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Mom and Steve dancing the rain away

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Christmas Eve with the Delmar family…

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She wasn’t quite sure what to do with all of these things wrapped in paper, but eventually she got the hang of it!

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Tina’s looking less-than-excited that I got a pocket knife from my Mom, lol!

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Christmas morning with Mom, Dad, and Auntie Jessie…

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“Oooh!”

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Christmas Day with the Edmonds family…

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Loving her Hello Kitty piano book from Grandma and Grandpa

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One of many new airplanes she inherited

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Cuddling with Grandpa

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Needless to say, all of the holiday festivities wiped this girl out!

Our 2013 Christmas card:

Xmas card 2013

Halloween 2013

For Sirena’s second Halloween we decided to dress her as Goldilocks and Mama and Daddy could go as Mama Bear and Papa Bear (and don’t forget about our Lola Bear!)  Here are some photos from the Halloween festivities in October.

Her first visit to Pa’s Pumpkin Patch (and old Long Beach staple)…

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Halloween Carnival at Point Fermin Lighthouse with Nani, Bopa, and Christian…

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The Bear family

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Her first time trick-or-treating! With her entourage… 😉

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Her buddy Amelia came along for her first trick-or-treating experience as well! Along with her mama and daddy Kim and Frank, Nani, Grandma Dorothy, Aunt TT, and cousin Katelyn

Sirena’s 1st birthday party!

Here is a collection of photos from Sirena’s first birthday bash! The days leading up to the party the weather was glorious…and then that morning we woke up to the gloomiest June day you could imagine! Super chilly winds, no sun to speak of. We kept the plans to host it at the park in the afternoon but it sure made for a different vibe than we had been expecting! But we all made the most of it, including the birthday girl (who had to cover up her special birthday dress which we bought when we were in Mexico over New Year’s…oh well!)

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Nothing like last-minute cupcake decorating to get a party started on the right foot! We even had to defrost the frosting (which had just about frozen in our ice chest) on the car’s engine. Talk about a memorable experience, lol!

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Me and Bri frantically rearranging the cupcakes as guests arrive.

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The decorations for the day were mostly colorful streamers and ribbons.

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The birthday girl’s special crown (made my Bri!) and her highchair all done up and ready for the cake smashing.

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We made a fun display of some photos of Sirena over the course of her first year with little party hats. We also asked guests to guess what career path Sirena would choose during her doljanchi ceremony (a really neat Korean tradition for first birthdays that we borrowed for the special occasion!)

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We had plenty of park games for the kids and big kids…water balloon toss, three-legged race, and some other fun games.

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Of the 5 career paths Sirena could choose and crawl to she chose…education (just like her mama!) Her second choice was actually mechanical (just like her Daddy!)

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Oh the presents!

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CAKE SMASHING TIME!

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Her royal highness ready to entertain her subjects.

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She’s not so sure about it…

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“Here, Daddy, YOU try it.”

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Family photo

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Delmar family

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Edmonds family

The party invitation I created:

Party invite

The thank you cards we sent out:

Party thank you card

Last days in the Bay Area…

Words cannot quite describe what the Bay Area has meant to Kevin and me. Our relationship with each other grew deeply being on our own, fending for ourselves and making new friends, exploring an amazing group of communities, growing our family with adopting Lola and having Sirena…the list goes on and on. The decision to move back to Long Beach was one of the hardest things we’ve had to do. To be honest, if it weren’t for having Sirena, wanting her to know her family really well, and having the promise of HELP close at hand we probably would not have moved back at least so soon. There was still so much for us to do and experience up there! But reality won out and in the end we were very happy and at peace with our decision. It was just such a hard thing to decide on and work through until it was said and done.

We enjoyed one last “hurrah” with my sister Jessie–a day trip to Albany Bulb for a little hike and cuddles (Jessie and Sirena of course) on a blanket overlooking the bay.

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Some final photos of our apartment before we completely tore it apart with packing for the big move!

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Family photos on our air-mattress-turned-couch after we sold our couch a couple of weeks before the move. 😉

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Kevin’s family (Dorothy, Judith, and Joshua) made the drive up to help us watch Sirena, pack the van, and caravan back down to Long Beach. What an amazing group of people!! Unfortunately I didn’t get one photo of them!

The joint all packed up…

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Just looking at this photo makes me shudder!

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All of our furniture lined up down the hallway of our apartment building.

Just before we drove off in the moving truck we took some photos of Auntie Jessie with her favorite girls: Sirena and Lola. The relationship that our girls have with Jessie is indescribable and irreplaceable.

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Sirena’s 1st Christmas

We spent a week in Long Beach for the Christmas holiday, staying with my mom and Aunt Tina at their home. Lots of fun outings throughout the week and a wonderful Christmas Eve with the Delmar side of the family and a fun-filled Christmas Day with the Edmonds side of the family.

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My fave: crinkle nose!

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Enjoying a “meal” in the sunshine

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Skyping with Aunt Sarah and Uncle Rob (who were in Detroit for Xmas), messing around with the silly faces app. Hilarious!

November visitors

November was filled to the brim (just the way we like it!) with visitors…

We were so happy to hear that Tio Derek and Laura were going to spend some time with us during their trip up north!

Highlights from their trip: Mitchell’s ice cream, game nights, walk through the cemetery (again!), Zachary’s deep dish pizza (drool)

Sirena sure is one lucky chickadee, having not one but TWO grandmas who are excited about seeing her and want to come up and spend the weekend with us!  They piggy-backed their visits so we had two weekends straight of grandma time…perfect.

Highlights of Nani’s trip: Lots of lounging around, playing with Sirena and Lola, movie night, fancy grandma/mama/baby dinner out at Jessie’s wine bar/restaurant

Highlights of Grandma Dorothy’s trip: meeting Santa, Christmas tree shopping, visit to Sirena’s Great Grandma Margie’s gravestone in Half Moon Bay, homemade pie from Pescadero

Sirena’s first dip in the pool

My mom and Steve came up for a few days so that my mom could attend the Brave New Voices international spoken word competition that was being hosted here in the Bay Area (she works with a group of youth from Long Beach that were competing this year) and so they decided to make a trip out of it and come spend some time with us too.  The competition was amazing (I attended one of the day’s events) and although the LB team didn’t win it was so inspiring being there and hearing their amazing work.

Here are some photos from their visit, including Sirena’s first time in a swimming pool!

We went to a car show in Danville where Steve’s nephew’s car was being shown and Sirena seemed to enjoy herself almost as much as her Daddy did!

Sirena’s first car show

Hot rods make her happy, apparently!

We then went to dinner at a yummy Italian restaurant…

Ma & Pa

Sirena with Steve

No meal is complete without a chocolate-dipped cone from Foster’s Freeze!

And now for the photos you’ve all been waiting for…when we found out that the pool at my mom’s hotel was heated we immediately went out to Babies R Us for some swimming diapers, strapped on her first bathing suit, and got the cameras ready!

Diaper duty before hitting the waves (the smallest waterproof diapers were for 16-26 pound babies and she was only around 12 pounds at the time so we just had to fold them over quite a bit and pray that there weren’t any accidents in the pool [luckily there weren’t!)

“Hey Daddy!”

Can’t forget the baby sunscreen!  Getting a massage from Mom.

Suited up and ready to go!

I think she was a little nervous, just judging by this photo, haha.

Here we go!

My mom took a video of her first dip in the pool, check it out here!

She was totally at home in the water and we see swimming lessons in her future!  She’s our little fish and we loooove how much she enjoyed herself in the pool.  Here are more photos of the lady being passed around…

She is learning to love the prickly kisses from Dad

Getting so much love from her Aunt Jessie!

Flying high with Mama

That’s quite a view!

Love this girl

The happy little family

Group photo

Swimming with Nani

She was in the pool for at least an hour (maybe more?) and she eventually passed out in her Nani’s arms…

After getting dried off and into some warm clothes she sat around with her Aunt Jessie soaking in the last rays of sunshine of the weekend…

Sirena’s first trip to Long Beach

Since before Sirena was born we were planning on making a trip down south when she was one month old so that she could meet family and close friends and so that we could have a nice little vacation while we were both off of work.  We were playing it by ear up until the week before we left just in case it didn’t work out (either because I hadn’t recovered fully or if she wasn’t able to travel) and we were so happy that it worked out just as we had hoped!

Traveling with an infant was…different.  Our car was packed to the brim with mostly stuff for Sirena and Lola barely fit in the backseat with her!  Usually when we drive down to LB we can make it down in 6 hours but with having to stop to feed her or change her diaper it took us 8 hours total, which actually isn’t terrible but it was definitely a lot longer than we’re used to.  Breastfeeding her in the backseat in parking lots was a different experience but luckily we made it work and the little girl didn’t starve.  🙂

We got to see the majority of our family in Southern California and some close friends but weren’t able to see everyone we had hoped to see but hopefully within the next couple of visits she’ll be able to meet everyone!  Here are the highlights of our trip…

Meeting family

One person I was extremely excited to meet Sirena was my Aunt Tina and she just fell in love with her.  🙂

Meeting for the first time!

Second time seeing each other

Meeting her grand uncle Joey (and rockin’ the no-pants look)

Seeing her Uncle Derek again

With her Nani

Hanging out with Nani and Auntie Tina

Three generations

The whole gang (minus Steve who was taking the photo!)

She also got to meet the rest of the Edmonds family…

With her big cousin Katelyn!

Auntie Judith was head over heels in love with the little lady

Aunt Sarah was so in love too!

Sirena got a double whammy when she met Uncle Thomas and her cousin Sophie

Kisses from Sophie

And Sirena experienced her first play date while in Long Beach with Kim’s daughter Amelia and Shani’s daughter Sadie…

Kevin and the Mommy group!

Sirena with her Auntie Kim

Dance party with Amelia!

Sirena meeting Sadie for the first time

Tummy time with Sadie (it’s amazing how much stronger Sadie is and only three months older than Sirena)

Meeting friends and exploring Mom & Dad’s hometown

Our close friends Brianne and Brian were so excited to meet Sirena…

Their first meeting!

Whatchu lookin’ at?

Playing tennis the morning of July 4th

Brianne, Brian and Brian’s sister Lisa just staring at the baby

Kevin and his floating baby (and Lola too!)

We had a little gathering in San Pedro so that some of my close family friends could come and meet our little munchkin…

Diane is like a second mom to me and it was so great having her meet Sirena!

Dave, Diane’s husband–he’s known my mom since she was 15 years old

Meeting Don and Rosemary

It was also a time to celebrate the birthdays of my mom, Don and Rosemary!

And lastly, it happened to be our six year wedding anniversary–it was hard to believe that six years prior we were in the same city getting married and we only dreamed of starting a family together.  Now six years later we were able to celebrate with our little lady!

Sirena and Mama, mirror images of each other

Random photos from our trip…

My mom’s boyfriend Steve recently purchased a ’51 Chevy and he said that we could take it out for a spin which Kevin was beyond happy to take him up on!

Lookin’ good!

Checking out his lovely backseat passenger 😉

The gang

The boys

It was SO hot and humid compared to the Bay Area and Sirena had a hard time adjusting (she even developed a small heat rash, poor thing) so she spent a lot of time lounging in nothing but a diaper!

Trying to adjust to all that darn sunshine!

With Mama at Brianne’s bridal shower

The four of us (with Lola) spent some time at a park in Pasadena on the way to dinner at Sarah’s house and here are some photos from our afternoon there…

Flying high with the help of Dad

Baby photo shoot

She’s such a little stinker

Kisses from Dad

Getting lots of love from Mama

Those feet love the feeling of grass

::Yawn:: Tired little baby

We also spent a lot of time just hanging out at Kevin’s parent’s house where we were staying while in town.  Their backyard garden was a lot of fun to hang out in and Sirena enjoyed looking at the flowers and the vegetable garden so much…

Taking in the sights of the garden with Mama

Nothing like a nap in the great outdoors!

Saying bye to our family and friends this trip was by far the hardest in the three years we’ve lived in the Bay Area…things sure do change when a baby enters your life.  We had a really great time even though it went by way too quickly and we didn’t get to see nearly enough people!  Until next time…

Life with Sirena: Weeks 3 and 4

Things seemed to change dramatically after the first two weeks but thinking back on it now I think it had less to do with Sirena and more to do with me and Kevin just getting the hang of things!  Quite a few people reached out to me after reading my last post about my experience with the “baby blues” and I appreciate it so much.  Although it was hard to write and even harder to post for everyone to read, it felt really good to be so honest about it and to receive such positive feedback from moms and future mamas alike.

I wanted to share with all those future mamas out there that one of the things that helped me the most was reading the book The Happiest Baby on the Block. Although the book focuses mostly on how to calm a fussy baby and how to help relax and put a baby to sleep, what I found most helpful was reading about a newborn’s development.  I had heard before that the first three months of life are considered the “fourth trimester” but I never understood exactly what that meant and the author, Dr. Karp, explained it extremely well (and much better than I’m about to do, I guarantee that)…he says that babies younger than three months old can still be considered fetuses because they have not finished developing and still need 24/7 attention.  They were so used to living in the womb where their every need was met on demand (eating, warmth, movement, being held tightly) and after birth they’re still in need of those things all the time.  Reading this helped me understand a lot about her and her needs and it helped me to understand why my sole job right now is to take care of her.  This understanding has helped me immensely!

In other news, we had her first appointment with the pediatrician on June 18 and she weighed in at a whoppin’ 8 lbs, 14 oz and measured the same as she did at birth at 19.5 inches.  The doctor said that everything looks good and that we’ve got a healthy baby on our hands!

We continued to keep ourselves mighty busy the last half of her first month including a visit from her Grandma Dorothy and celebrating Kevin’s first Father’s Day!  Pictures of our adventures…

A hike at Sibley Volcanic Regional Preserve in Oakland

First time baby-wearing for me and I loved it!

Sirena’s first-ever visit to San Francisco!

Me and the little Bay Area native looking out on the bay

A not-so-happy bather

Preparing for a dip in the bathtub

Not digging this experience in the least

“Quit taking pictures and dry me off NOW!”

Tummy time!

Tummy time is a really important part of a newborn’s development to help them strengthen their neck muscles and practice keeping their heads up. She likes it for a couple of minutes but then won’t hesitate to let us know that she is very unhappy and wants to get off her tummy as soon as possible!

A hike in Glen Canyon in San Francisco (Mom and Dad’s old stompin’ grounds!)

After the hike we spent some time sitting in the grass and taking in the sunshine…

What day at the park would be complete without a showing of Kevin and Lola’s tricks?

Some more random photos from these two weeks…

A naked, sleeping baby…could life get any better than this?

Hanging out at Auntie Jessie’s apartment

Getting to know her cousin Mars

Me and my girls

Kevin and his lounging “beach bum”

Sirena and Mama

Grandma Dorothy’s visit

Grandma Dorothy came up to visit for a few days to spend some more time with her fourth grandchild (oh yeah, and us too 😉 ).

We spent one day at the Berkeley Rose Garden and Codornices Park across the street (the last time we went to these two places was back in 2010 when Kevin’s brother Thomas came to visit, see post at this link).

Notice Lola’s photo bomb? Haha, that girl is such a ham.

We also spent an afternoon at Joaquin Miller Park in Oakland to hang out and play frisbee with Lola…

Ready for some sunshine!

Me and Dorothy chatting while Sirena napped the afternoon away

This girl makes sleeping look so good…

Big foot!

Kevin’s first Father’s Day was spent at the botanic gardens at Tilden Regional Park in Berkeley at Kevin’s request.  We packed a picnic lunch and enjoyed the beautiful gardens together.

Chow time!

Sirena napped in her stroller while we had our picnic lunch

Then it was time for our hike…

Kevin and Dorothy

The gardens had TONS of stairs so Kevin and I had to carry the stroller quite a bit, haha.  And we quickly realized that we definitely need an off-road stroller (which we’ve since gotten, hallelujah!)

Beautiful trees in the garden

Diaper duty for Kevin on Father’s Day!

Happy girl with a clean booty

Papahood sure looks good on Kevin, wouldn’t you say?

I have to admit, saying the words “Happy Father’s Day” to Kevin for the first time that day was the sweetest thing!

And some final random photos from Grandma’s visit…

The three of us hanging out in her room on the glider

Kisses for my Buddha baby and her giving me a goofy grin right back!

It’s so apparent that Grandma has so much love for this little lady (wearing her “Grandma gives the best hugs” onesie for the occasion!)

And finally some short videos of Sirena in action to close this post out!

Sirena making some funny faces at me here

Getting kisses from Lola during a car ride here

Me trying to wake The Grump up here

Sirena’s first two weeks

Sirena’s first days of life

A few hours after Sirena was born, we made the trip upstairs to the Family Recovery Room to spend the next two nights getting to know our baby and preparing to go home as new parents.  Over the course of the next 48 hours we spent a lot of time visiting with the family that was in town, trying to get as much sleep as possible which proved to be almost impossible with the constant feeding, changing of diapers (which Kevin did completely while in the hospital, I didn’t have to change a diaper until we got home!), and the constant interruption by nurses and doctors coming in to check in on us, and just being in complete and total awe of the little lady we had created.

My first experience in a wheelchair and I couldn’t have asked for a better chair mate!

Skin-to-skin with mama

Hanging out with mom and dad (and Uncle Derek who came for a surprise visit!)

Love

Sirena was surrounded by lots of loving family members who couldn’t wait to get their paws on her–she was rarely laying down in the bassinet but instead almost always in someone’s arms!

Proud first-time grandma

Kevin and his mom (I love this picture!)

Such a happy Grandpa!

Enjoying time with Grandpa George and showing off those expressive little hands

Getting the special treatment by Aunt Jessie

Uncle Derek made a surprise visit to the hospital on the afternoon of the day she was born–someone knocked on the door and, thinking it was another nurse checking in on us, I told them to “come in” and I was speechless when I saw Derek walk in the door!  Turns out he happened to have an ultimate frisbee tournament in Santa Cruz that weekend so made the drive up to visit with us for a couple of hours before going back.  It was so wonderful having him there to meet his first niece!

The Delmars

The Edmonds

Sirena actually had to have a minor medical procedure done while still at the hospital–I was experiencing a lot of pain while breastfeeding and the nurses who observed me just said that Sirena had a strong latch but that eventually it’d get better.  When I began bleeding and the pain, in fact, did not stop we asked to meet with a Lactation Consultant to see if she could help.  She first observed Sirena nurse and then took a look inside her mouth and said that she believed her frenulum (the membrane that attaches the tongue to the floor of the mouth) was shorter than usual which did not allow her to breastfeed very efficiently.  She told us about the simple procedure of cutting the frenulum and after we said it would interest us she had the attending pediatrician come to our room to check her out.  The doctor agreed that cutting the frenulum would be beneficial and gave us the consent forms for the procedure.  It was surreal having to read through medical paperwork and sign off on something for another human and not myself.  Once the paperwork was signed and the doctor was getting ready I was overcome with some pretty intense emotions–whenever I had heard moms say that they couldn’t stand seeing their child get a shot I really couldn’t understand why something like that could be so dramatic, and yet here I was with a one day old baby who was going to get a very minor medical procedure done and I was overcome with sadness and I began to cry.  I felt so bad for this little person and I couldn’t help feeling guilty, questioning our decision to do this if it was only for a selfish reason (so that I wouldn’t be in pain while breastfeeding).  I couldn’t stand to watch the 2-second procedure and felt awful when I heard her little cry after it was done.  Luckily her cries only lasted for 30 seconds and she barely bled at all but it was the first time I truly understood those other moms and the overwhelming feelings of wanting to protect my baby from any little harm.

The hospital commissioned a photography company to drop by to meet with the new families to take baby’s first photos–although we didn’t order any from the company we did take advantage of the trance-like state the photographer put Sirena in so that I could snap a few posed newborn photos of our own!

Our itty bitty model

Sirena’s first glamor shot

Daddy and Sirena

Our last night at the hospital we got the extra special treatment with a meal fit for a royal family.  Kevin and I had placed our order the previous day so were looking forward to the dinner but when another huge tray showed up covered with five servings of desserts and Martinelli’s sparkling apple cider we were blown away–they not only prepared dessert for Kevin and me but for my mom, her boyfriend Steve, and my sister Jessie who happened to be visiting during that time as well!

The feast (with the guest of honor)!

And here’s a short video of the three of us hanging out in the hospital together

Life with a newborn

Bringing Sirena home

On Monday morning after meeting with countless medical professionals and attending the hospital discharge class it was finally time to go home.  I hadn’t set foot outside of the recovery room for 48 hours so it was strange not only to be going home with a new sidekick but also just to be outside of those four walls in general!  The weather had changed dramatically that day–it had rained early that morning and it was so windy, it reminded us of some tropical location.  She couldn’t have asked for more dramatic coming-home weather!

Proud new daddy

Soothing herself on mom’s finger for her first ever car ride…she was a total champ!

We were both excited and anxious about Sirena’s and Lola’s first encounter.  Lola had been without mom and dad for three days so we decided to leave Sirena out in the hallway with my mom while Kevin and I went into the apartment to greet our overly-excited pup.  It was so apparent she missed us a ton while we were gone and it was so great getting to see her again!  After a few minutes it was time for the long-awaited first meeting: here’s a short video of the two of them being introduced! Lola was extremely curious about the new little person (if she even recognized that Sirena was a little human) and just wanted to sniffsniffsniff her.  We had to tell her to “leave it” when she started getting a little too carried away with wanting to give her kisses but overall Lola did great at their first meeting!

Her first week

Sirena’s first week at home was a whirlwind.  Kevin and I were busy trying to figure out this whole newborn thing and getting used to our new sleep schedule.  We had the company of my mom and Steve for a couple of days at home which was nice to have some companionship and some extra hands to hold her while we tried to get things taken care of.

The only thing we had to do that week was go to our first doctor’s appointment with a Lactation Consultant on the day after we got home from the hospital.  The LC we met with was fantastic and gave me a lot of support and an extra boost of confidence.  Sirena at first weighed in at 7 lbs, 7 oz and after nursing her for 20 minutes she was weighed again and gained almost an entire ounce!  The LC scheduled us for another appointment the following week and said that it was her hope that Sirena gain at least 4 oz within the week.

Here are some snapshots from her first week at home:

Three generations

So itty bitty in her car seat!

My Aunt Tina bought Sirena a cute little Minnie Mouse outfit and a ton of Disney dolls so we wanted to take advantage and take a cute photo reminiscent of E.T.:

Let’s play “Where’s Sirena?”

Napping with Dad (check out the arm positions for both of them…)

Kevin and I made sure to get out of the house as much as possible to enjoy the outdoors and the sunshine instead of being cooped up in the house all day long.  Our first excursion when she was five days old was to Piedmont Park for a nice walk with Lola–while pregnant with Sirena I would take Lola here just about once a week so it was crazy being there with a little baby in tow!

Kevin and his girls

Sleepy baby

Lola checking out the munchkin Dad was carrying around

Her second week

We kept ourselves pretty busy her second week with visitors (Carleigh, Terri & Scott, and Darinee & Harrison came by for visits), a doctor’s appointment, a postpartum doula appointment, and excursions around town.

The doctor’s appointment we had was with the same Lactation Consultant we had seen the week prior–the first thing she did was weigh Sirena and when she found out she weighed 8 lbs, 4 oz (up 13 oz from the week before) the LC said, “Good job, mama! That’s all I needed to know, you’re doing a great job and you can go home now!”  It seems that Sirena and I are a pretty good team when it comes to this breastfeeding business.  🙂

One of the days that week we took a nice long walk to the Lake Merritt farmer’s market.  Since dogs aren’t allowed in the market I sat in the shade with our girls while Kevin went around to get some food–there was a man with his one year old daughter who stopped by to see the little baby in the stroller, he asked me how old she was and when I told him 7 days old he said, “You gave birth a week ago?!”  😉

On the walk home we stopped by the lake to take some photos…

Lola checking in on her sister

Kevin and his three girls

And here are some random photos from the week…

Little Buddha baby (check out those legs!)

She’s such a GRUMP when she wakes up!  We love it.

A visit from Auntie Carleigh (who is expecting two boys in a few months, Sirena’s future buddies!)

At the Oakland Rose Garden

Trying out Dad’s shades

And a little bit about postpartum recovery

With all of the preparation I did for the birth itself I wasn’t quite prepared for the moments and the days after the birth.  Other than a co-worker telling me about her own experience the two days in the hospital after her daughter was born, no one really talked to me about the recovery so I thought I’d mention it briefly here.

Like I mentioned in my previous post with her birth story, the moment she was placed on my chest was incredible.  She was so warm and so big and so unbelievably cute and I just could not believe that she was real and that she actually came out of me.  I was very much focused on her little face and her huge presence but something else was demanding my focus: being stitched up by the doctor.  Turns out I had a second degree tear (which is pretty typical for a woman’s first vaginal delivery) and because I didn’t have an epidural, even though she applied a local anesthetic I was still very aware of the sensations of the stitching while it was happening.  It actually took around 30 minutes for the doctor to finish and it was a lot more painful and uncomfortable than I could have imagined.  Even though I was in quite a bit of pain, during this time I was very much focused on Sirena and I actually gave her the nickname “Honey bear” to comfort her when she would cry or whimper.  I had never thought of that nickname prior to this experience so I consider it extremely special for the two of us and I find myself calling her that now when she’s in the most distress.

Another thing I hadn’t really expected was when I went to use the restroom for the first time about an hour after she was born, Kevin accompanied me and when I got up I told him I was feeling dizzy and placed my arms around his neck and the next thing I knew I woke up on the bathroom floor with a nurse looking over me.  I had fainted because I had lost so much blood (not any more than expected for a vaginal birth but way more than I had ever lost before!) and thank goodness Kevin was there to help lay me on the floor so I didn’t hit my head.  From then on I had to wear a “Fall Risk” bracelet on my wrist and the nurses were extra cautious of me getting up for any reason.  I also had a hard time urinating and ended up having to get a catheter put in for an entire evening–the worst part about this was that the nurse couldn’t put it in so had to ask the head nurse to come in and help her and she also had a hard time putting it in so for about 30 minutes total I had two nurses pricking me in a very sensitive area which I had definitely not anticipated.  Once the catheter was in I felt a huge relief so it was definitely worth it but it was a very trying time while they were putting it in.

More than anything, what I had the hardest time with in terms of recovery was the fact that I was so extremely weak.  I had never even broken a bone before so being in a hospital and actually having to recover and needing nurses to take care of me was very difficult for me.  I couldn’t do a lot of things for myself and I had a hard time letting go and being okay with nurses helping me with some very personal and uncomfortable things like assisting me in the restroom, emptying the catheter, etc.  I now have so much more respect for nurses and all they have to do for their patients having been one myself!  The first two weeks at home were pretty rough with my recovery as well but each day I would feel more and more normal and now that we’re almost one month from her birthday I am feeling about 95% back to normal.

The “baby blues”

Yup, I experienced them.  I struggled with deciding whether or not to include anything about this on the blog but I decided to be honest and share my experience because it seems that it isn’t always talked about and I want other new moms who have experienced them or women who may experience them in the future know that they’re not alone.

The first two weeks were…rough.  Adjusting to life with a newborn was not easy in the slightest, just like everyone had said (but I didn’t truly understand until I was living it!)

Lack of sleep + constant discomfort/pain from recovery + feeding Sirena every 1-3 hours all day long + crazy postpartum hormones = a not-always-happy mama.  I had a hard time accepting the fact that the independence I had once enjoyed every day was now completely gone.  When Sirena was hungry (like I said, every 1-3 hours all day long), I was needed right this instant.  Sleep was constantly being interrupted by a need to breastfeed and/or change a diaper–she’d wake up 2-3 times during the night and be awake for at least one hour at a time.  Our daily schedule was completely flipped on its head and we weren’t getting out of the house and seeing the light of day until around 2pm each day.  My body was no longer my own (not just in terms of breastfeeding but with the recovery too) and I just didn’t feel normal anymore.

All of these things added up to make me feel, in a word, drained.  Even though I genuinely enjoyed so many moments with my new little family there were many moments when I felt inadequate for not knowing what to do at all times, I felt selfish for wanting more sleep and wanting to not breastfeed and wanting my old life back, and more than anything, I felt guilty for having these feelings.  I have wanted to be a mom for a long time–I am great with kids and had expected mamahood to be something I would be a natural at.  So when my first two weeks as a mom turned out to be extremely difficult, I began feeling like maybe I wasn’t cut out for being a mom after all and that was the worst feeling to have.

So what helped me snap out of this?  First of all, Kevin was amazing throughout this experience.  He allowed me to crycrycry it out, he was extremely supportive and was constantly telling me that I was, in fact, doing a good job and that it was okay and normal for me to feel the way I was feeling, and he would do his best to take her so that I could get a 2-3 hour nap in every day.  Getting out of the house at least once a day to enjoy the sunshine and some fresh air has done wonders as well–I can’t imagine what kind of a wreck I would have been if I was cooped up in our apartment every single day.  And lastly, I had to constantly remind myself even during the crying fits and the discomfort and the sleeplessness that I had wanted and dreamed about having Sirena for so many years and that I needed to appreciate the little life that I was fortunate enough to spend my days with, even during the rough patches.

Each day has honestly gotten better and better and even though we’re now approaching her one month birthday and I’m still exhausted, even though I still question whether or not I know what the heck I’m doing, and even though I still cry at the drop of a dime, I know that this is all temporary and that this will all be over before we know it so I strive to enjoy each and every moment I have with her as much as possible.

Our little burrito

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